Maybe I Can Find Myself

Maybe here,
Beaten and defeated by my own flaws,
Maybe here,
Pinned to the ground to the ugly replays,
Maybe… Maybe I can find myself.

Maybe now, lone, solitary…
Maybe like a rhinoceros, I am more blind to what stands near,
Too focused to what’s far when what I seek is just here.
Maybe I care too much, maybe I don’t
Maybe… Maybe I can find myself.

Maybe I can be myself more and overcome my ugly side,
Maybe in this loneliness I can hear my own breath.
Maybe this torture will erase all the evils I’ve done,
Maybe I’ll forget this pitiable self that everyone faults.
Then maybe… Maybe I can find myself.

Or could this be just a skin I have to shed?
It could be a dark cover hiding the light in me,
Or it could be that my thoughts have overcome me.
What more of me could it be?
Maybe I’ve heard too much about me.
Or maybe I’ve said too much, when you think I haven’t
Whether in the noise or in the silence…
Just maybe… Maybe I can find myself.

Tuesday Trail

My tired legs took me for a walk this evening and I can tell you, it was barely two miles and I feel like I trekked to USA. You see, it’s busy around here; cars everywhere, motorcycles making their droning sounds… It’s a little annoying when your head is screaming with thoughts. But it also reminds me that I no longer have that little paradise we call “my space”. It’s all in my head!

On the trail today, I found young boys playing football. The field was unmarked, but the grass boundered the area (poor stems cannot survive heavy pounds). I couldn’t help but admire the fun they were having. Occasionally one of them would get hurt but after a few limps, he’d be fine. At times, they’d stop to watch a beauty passing by.

I’m sorry, I’m not such a good story teller but my trail got me thinking. If a painful moment can be lagged to a really slow motion, how many thoughts that happen in real time would we collect?
I also took a picture 🙈

The little line you see is the path to the sky 😂😂😂

Be Careful What You Say; Response by Hans Gamma

The soul speaks to every person in his conscience.
Before what I said or after what I did…
Accept the bad mood;
the question of what it relates to
my own conflict or not.
I can not determine another;
what is bad for him, what is good for him.
The silence against the inside.
There is no silence in the soul.
Nobody has the power to evil,
to banish myself in myself,

In others,
nobody can be in a game.
No spell will cast the shadow.
Please liberate in my own heart.
conquer the uncanny,
Judge what I said.
Consciously put my judgment on what I have done.
Accept my own ineptitude.
dare the better.

Hans blogs at http://hgamma.wordpress.com

My Suicide Note by Izonya

I am collateral damage
Flowers shrink when am close
Butterflies fly away from me
I hurt the people I love
I pity the people that care for me
I am a sadist and I don’t like subjects that bend low
I’m collateral damage

If karma is real the punishment I deserve is worse than death
I am a destroyer of everything
I am numb I am dumb
I am a killer I am guilty
I’m collateral damage

Regrets only makes me worse
Remorse is in the air I breathe
I am the worse nightmare
I am regrets to those attached to me
I am the devils dream come true
I’m collateral damage

I’m hurt every time life gives me another chance
Every blessings hurts as worse as a curse would
I love hate and hate love
Loving me is hurting me and yourself
I’m collateral damage

Every moment feels like the last moment
Death seems an inche away
I can see the signs all over
All I want is to have a good ending
I want to have a legacy
Can anyone say am a good person
I’m collateral damage

Izonya is a life loving person. He’s a great writer and poet. He has a beautiful soul and his words are special. He’s an inspiration to the lost and his pen bleeds love. 😊👏

Jamhuri Day: A Few Words About Kenya

If you’ve never heard of Kenya, then you already have, by reading my topic today!!! Better yet, please book a plane ticket and pay a visit to the country, I am sure you will not need a Visa and it’s also really cheap to come and to tour the country for some days. Let me tell you a little story…

The Kenyan Flag.


Long before people could record history, 44 tribes migrated and settled in different parts of a section in the East of Africa. The land was cool, green and unpolluted. They worshipped the gods in the mountains and rivers. I, particularly, come from a tribe in the Central part, where Mt. Kenya, the tallest mountain in the country is located. History lied to you that David Livingstone (I don’t remember whether it’s him) discovered the mountain. It’s all a lie. It was there long before even my tribe moved here. My people knew it was a mountain and they worshipped facing it. Also, Mzee Jomo Kenyatta, the first president of the country, and the Mau Mau fighters hid in the forest around it when they fought for our independence.

A lion and a lioness: The Pride of Kenya


That’s where we are; Independence. The free Kenyan soil (It was free before the British came), is now 54 years old. That’s a number of times my current age but never mind. I’m talking a story about Kenya. Over the 54 years, we have enjoyed speaking English and building beautiful roads, railway lines, cities and wearing nice clothes. We also listen to Rihanna and Tasha Cobbs too. Also, our sons and daughters, like Barrack Obama and Lupita, are still making a mark beyond home. All I’m saying is that colonialism played a positive role in what Kenya is today and as we celebrate independence, again, I would like to remind you again, that you need to book a ticket and come. I will guide you around free of charge.
Did you know that Kenya hosts the Wildebeest Migration, which is considered a wonder of the world, every year. I would have loved to tell you a long story about my country. But I’d prefer if you told me first, what you’d like to know. Have a lovely day ahead.. And Happy Jamhuri Day, KENYA.

Wildebeests Migration:Crossing the Mara River

I Finally Went to Java to Embarrass Myself.

Hello,

I hope you are smiling when reading this post but if you are not, I hope that you will be by the time you finish reading this experience of mine. First, Cheers! I am now worth a thousand followers lol. Thank you for trusting me, for believing in the worth of the petty words I write. I assure you that there is a part of my heart decorated in lilac just for you. Second, today I brought you some gossip; not really gossip, just telling you how one of my days went recently.

So, each one of us know that Java is a brand famous for it’s different types of coffee and snacks, mostly coffee and if we are all honest, we have held a meeting or a date there once or twice. For those who have not been there, I know you would want to pay a visit and at least take coffee. If you are not in any of the two categories, you probably hate either coffee or adventure. I had been planning to take myself to Java for a treat one day and just enjoy a mug, all by myself, of whatever caught my eye on the menu. What I did not know is that I would find myself there in a rather helpless situation. We all know first times suck, especially when you are in the company of people who have been in the situation a hundred times and you are the only one who has to observe first before you can do anything.

I wanted some documents signed by a very honorable person and he told me to meet him at a mall. Having in mind that a signature only takes some few seconds to put down, I knew that the meeting would only last a few minutes so I did not expect anything engaging… Like COFFEE!!! I got there really early and by the time he arrived, I had strolled around, toured every shop, looked at TV prices, sportswear, gym equipment… You would think I was out to furnish my house. Then came the call. He said, “I’m at Java, come out to the shades, I am waiting for you.”

My two minutes meeting ended as planned and I was looking for some words to use for goodbye. That’s when he said I had to stay and take something. I could literally feel my confidence running away and I sank. First, he was not alone (great people are always having company) and second, I hate having my first times in the presence of honorable people because I often embarrass myself. I could not think of anything more than coffee which he said he wouldn’t pay for, (I could as well go and make it in my house) and asked the waitress to bring me mocha instead. I hereby confess that I almost spilled it because I was shaking too much but the worst was yet to come. They asked for beef samosas!

There were forks and knives, serviettes… and there I was, waiting for them to do what they do when they order such things in a café. None of the crew used knives so I thought, Aha! Easy job for me. I was really wrong. The atmosphere was tense, I could barely hold my hands still and though we were having some really lovely conversation, my mind was so clouded I forgot there was a table and leaned back. I spilled almost half of the minced meat in my snack and I was really embarrassed. Some things cannot be undone, like cleaning the Java floor because you did not have in mind that there is a table! I felt like that moment was frozen. I could feel really sharp eyes looking at me. My host pretended he did not notice anything but who can’t see the floor when they are typing something on phone? Anyway, the next two hours went on for a million years and I’m definitely going to Java again, alone, to have the first time moment I had been planning for.

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